Solitary Confinement

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Hahahhaha 😂, I threw this up to show how medical marijuana users are really in a jail, and solitary confinement all the time! It’s us, who have serious pain and other chronic issues that are feeling locked away from the public because of our conditions. I know that it’s how I feel all the time, for sure! Of course, my isolation is mostly self-imposed, in that I don’t feel comfortable around a lot of people anymore, when I used to have a very gregarious personality.

It’s really like a prison of sorts. We’re allowed to exercise at the whim of our bodies as opposed to guards! We have to eat foods that we wouldn’t normally eat, just like prison. Our days are regimented to the nth degree. I’m really finding that I am going to be enjoying my solitary confinement ’til the end! It’s for the best, too! I’m not too good in the public. Just last week, Debbie and I are going to the Dr’s appt. but we’re early. We’d already decided to chow at McD’s, I love the dollar spicy McChicken, and Debbie just likes the plain little hamburger, and we split a medium fries and a large drink, under $6.00! Cheap and easy! But I digress as usual! When we get to the restaurant, there’s this guy in a jeep, in the drive-thru line, and he was a whole car length behind the guy in front of him….Debbie and I both hung my disabled placard on the mirror and we’re sitting there motioning politely, that he’s blocking both handicapped spaces. I finally jerked my thumb in a “move your ass!” gesture, and he throws his friggin hands in the air like I just asked him to kill his child! I’m now in “extremely pissed-off-mode!” He pulls forward, almost 20 feet, and flips me off when he thought I wouldn’t see, but I did! I got out of the car, had to get my walking stick from the backseat, because it’s too long for the front….anyways, I go about 10 feet towards his lame ass and I shouted, “hey, butt-head! Does my disability bother you!?” He flips me off again! The only thing that kept me from pulling him out of the Jeep and beat his ass for disrespecting ANY handicapped person was Debbie’s presence. I woulda ended up kicking his ass, and then I would need an ambulance because I can’t kick ass like I used to! But who out there thinks that he showed disrespect for all handicapped persons? That just pissed me off to no end!

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So, Debbie saved his butt, and I got my blood pressure down before we got to the Dr’s. I had a ‘medible’ lollipop, that’s one grams worth of THC content. Works slow, but lasts….

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I have a friend named Tracey Morgan Gibson, and she’s selling the totally legal CBD products. I have tried them, but I react to the higher THC strains better. The CBD, or, cannabidiol, is the non-psychoactive properties in the hemp plant. And so far, I have been endorsing her sales on my Facebook pages, because I know that it’s a great benefit to others with chronic pain syndromes and assorted autoimmune diseases. If you go to Facebook, the group name is just like this, no caps, “cbd hempsavedme”, and I urge anyone who has considered using medical marijuana to try these first! They’re legal in all 50 states, and easily ordered through her page and PayPal. She may accept credit cards too, but I haven’t thought to ask….just go there if you think you can benefit from the CBD products! Remember, you don’t get high! CBD, is the ‘anti-high’ component of weed. The higher the THC content the higher you go, the higher the CBD content, no buzz, but it’s been proven to cure and even prevent the spread of certain cancers! Plus, I don’t know how many times I’ve told y’all that one acre of quickly replenishable hemp is equal to 4 acres of trees that take decades to regrow! Pet foods, (Cannapet, Google it), stock feeds, we have a package of hemp seeds, ground, in the pantry. Slightly light nutty flavor, and doesn’t taste through other foods, so add it away! Alzheimers disease is also found to go in remission through the use of medical marijuana. While everyone screams “gateway drug”, and worse because of their being uninformed properly that it kills brain cells is just a myth perpetuated by the anti-weed crowd. They think that since a good buzz makes you act or talk stupidly, it’s still responsible for growing more brain cells! That’s where it’s beneficial for Alzheimers patients, and the reason I still retain my high I.Q.

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Had to share these two sunsets from consecutive days top first is from a stormy Friday night to another like it the next night.

So, I was talking about IQ’s…it’s proven that THC specifically, and maybe CBD, the two main compounds of marijuana; that they heal and regrow brain cells! I tested out at 132 on the I.Q. tests, and that was in the late 70’s! I could swear that I have increased that number by maybe another five to ten points! I have always had a combination of both eidetic, and photographic memories. Believe me, it’s not that great! I think that one or the other by themselves would be fine, but I feel like the two are at odds with each other in the ol’ noggin’. That’s one of the reasons why I love to write. My brain fights between itself, I don’t know if it’s ego vs. self, or whatever that old bullshit was called by Jung and Freud. But whatever it is, it makes my brain something more than the average. I am positive that I have lived many past lives, for one thing! I have waking dreams where I get that Deja vu feeling, but the memories are from ages ago. Literally ages! That’s why I believe in weird things that are many times proven to be more than just theories. Anyway, so I have a constant internal battle between different parts of my mind, and I “see” these pasts. Not like from watching movies, but seeing through ancient eyes and seeing the past, where I have been before. I have run into these feelings before. I ‘remember’ these things as if I was there! One example is that my family, when I was younger, (say from 7 to 15) we visited Gettysburg PA three times. And the first time I can remember pointing out things to my folks, before I had even been introduced to the wars in school yet! I am sure that I was a Yankee soldier that died there. I ‘remember’ crossing the land bridge between today’s Russia and Alaska, USA. So, I was once an “original” native-American! The last time I remember dying was in the Korean War. I have been a soldier, or similar to, through all of my pasts. It was one of the deciding factors in my joining the Airborne Infantry when I had test scores in the 99%ile! My Uncles wanted me to go Air Force like them, and I probably could’ve had a promising career in the technical field like them. But I follow my mind and heart, and neither has really let me down. I’ve been through hell over and over again and I keep going like the Energizer Bunny!

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Love making these memes! But! On a totally different topic, I am good at that, I am going to close this out and start a new one. This is almost a week old! I’ve been adding as I go along, and it’s time for a different story. I have to figure that out. Be well, my friends and following! And Merry Christmas! ❤ 🎅⬅🙊🙉🙈😂😨💓

“Commiseration” a poem

“Commiseration”




Some days we just need someone to sympathize

Someone who has seen the world through our eyes

Chronic pain illnesses that I so despise

If I awoke without pain…What a surprise!

But it’s just something that I try to surmise

I just wish, that in some way I could revise

The ills I suffer daily that drain my supplies

Supplies of calmness; my only allies

But all of my syndromes together, comprise

All of my feelings, the lows and the highs

No matter the volume, no one hears my cries

No matter how high my banner flies

Pills for part-time help; just a handful of lies

Ask how we feel, and our minds race like spies

On whether or not, we can trust you to apprise

And let you know what chronic pain implies

And then you’ll know why we wear a disguise

Suffering in pain that only evil could devise

A song of screams; with a continuous reprise

There’s no way around it, I can’t improvise

Just have to put up with it until my demise




Written: 11/08/15



Hope you all like the new version I tried! Each line rhymes, and it tells my story pretty plainly without verse breaks! ‘Handful of pills’, LOL; once I saw how many rhymes I had for eyes, I just went to town, so to speak, and let it flow, and it just happened that I found the ending in 21 lines, instead of the usual even numbers.

“Self-Possession” a poem

“Self-Possession”




To me, people who are self-possessed

Live their lives thinking they are best

They’re also prone to being stressed

But I refuse to join in the contest


It would only make me feel distressed

To feel this weight upon my breast

So I fight my dragons, and always wrest

And slay each dragon on my quest


My quest is to keep on seeking

To find, and oil, that which is squeaking

I’m telling the truth, plainly speaking

Need to find an end to my shrieking


Taking pills every day; I’ve such an addiction

Makes it so hard to keep to my conviction

Not my fault, just my body’s dereliction

Arthritis and more…my body’s infliction


So, excuse my times of self-possession

I just need time for pain suppression

Illness so chronic, there is no regression

I just need time to cure my depression




Written:11/08/15

“Swindled” a poem

“Swindled”




Swindled…

My body has me betrayed

My mind’s starting to fade

Feeling the ends all frayed

I try to remain staid


Tricked…

My life has made me afraid

As I’m buffeted through this charade

Can’t be cured with a band-aid

Past my prime, and decayed


Denounced…

By my very own body

Feel crazy, floppy and shoddy

Can’t be helped by anybody

Just need to put up with the snobby


Defrauded…

Feel the victim of some evil trick

Struck down by pains I cannot kick

This is not the life I would pick

To live through this fog; so thick


Betrayed…

Feel sold short, and led astray

Always fighting through clouds of gray

The smell of attar; a cloying bouquet

Feeling that every day’s a cliche




Written: 11/07/15

“Vexed” a poem

“Vexed”




Feeling constantly pestered

By my annoying diseases

Permanent pains have festered

And I’m plagued by cold breezes


Life can be so annoying

Waking daily to chronic pain

My few good days are just toying

It can be so hard to explain


My body feel so harrassed

By pains that will never leave

But I do my best to try and outlast

As well as I can try to deceive


I try to play tricks with my mind

No matter how my thoughts are marred

Refute these pains that keep me confined

And treat my ills with disregard


Some days I see everything double

Every movement is so troublesome

My life feels like a pile of rubble

Moving is so cumbersome


So, my life just keeps me vexed

Hating all of my body’s ills

But I always refuse to be perplexed

As I choke down a handful of pills




Written: 11/07/15

My bad!

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So, I called this “My bad” ’cause I have been neglecting my poetry here! I have been in a state of permanent flare for weeks, and I have been in a stupor from the pain that’s only relieved with morphine 💊 and weed!

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This is 2 buds of the Chronic Thunder that I got on the first. Look at the size! The two were a whole quarter ounce!

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And this is a great close-up of the Thunder after grinding. It’s sooo juicy that I have to let it breathe and “proof” before rolling. It won’t stay lit this juicy!
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I have never been a good weed roller, but I need to smoke outside sometimes, because of the animals, and I make big clouds! But anyways, I have started using the pre-roll papers! It’s a Cone with a small cardboard tube at the end of it,so no roaches left over! Debbie bought me some of the smaller ones that I am going to try tonight. I’m sorry I’ve been neglecting my poetry here! I’m gonna catch up soon, but….
These cones are awesome to use! I just use a small funnel with a wire pusher to get it through the funnel, then you just make sure to pack it tight, like when you tap a cigarette down, this keeps it burning clean and evenly.

Just the last few days have been extra bad on my mind lately, and I think that I’m depressed, but I usually don’t ever feel that way,so I don’t know…I do however, know that my left hand (all fingers dislocated at least once, and twice almost crushed) kept me up extra last night. It feels like a heavy weight is on it. When I let it dangle, the extra blood flow just starts it throbbing, so I keep it up on my pillow at head level, and then it’s not throbbing, but still a good 9/10!

Well, anyway, I have to catch up tomorrow, I’ll try to post three poems! If I can’t, I will probably be out of it. But I will get through it, that’s the key I always keep in my pocket (in my mind), and I have to sit up straight at the laptop to be able to type comfortably. Typing the poems into the phone app just never come out straight. I guess this app’s only good for the straight blogging and pictures! Posting this after I go to sleep! See you all soon!

“Old” a poem

“Old”




Feeling ancient, old and bowed

My inner-winter keeps me cold

Too antiquated to be sold

Feeling beaten up and rolled


Elderly, I am; almost archaic

My words, I try, to make prosaic

And weave my poems as a mosaic

To help assuage, and be aesthetic


Doddering, aged; almost antique

All of my joints pop and creak

An end to pain is what I seek

Try to scream! But I’m so weak


Before my time, I’ve become retired

Not the life that I desired

Try to keep my friends inspired

And live our lives; as desired


Sometimes I feel like a hand-me-down

Try hard to stay happy just like a clown

And live a life of great renown

And try a smile, instead of a frown


So, I’m unoriginal and overused

Trapped in a body; so abused

But, I like to help others feel bemused

No matter how badly I am bruised


As my everyday now, becomes the past

I stick close to the mold I’ve cast

To help all my friends feel un-harassed

Even I’m surprised that I still last




Written:  11/05/15

Trivial info time! This is #101 in my notebook, and as of today, I have 4421st poems ready…that’s how far ahead I am! I could sit back and the poem that I’m working on now, won’t even post here until January 21st! That’s pretty far ahead, but the pain sure keeps the words flowing! Thanks for those who are enjoying my works. I have stopped the first poetry book at 163 pages, and this is #174! So, that’s 11 pages in my second book already! At this rate, I should have two books by the end of Feb. or March! Then….maybe even a third!

“Seasons” a poem

“Seasons”




What’s new that awaits us with the coming of Spring?

In the trees are the birds with new songs to sing

The geese from the North; returning awing

Baseball season ends, with a final swing

And the time arrives for our Spring cleaning

Through March and April, and a new May fling



Summer follows closely upon Springs close

Time’s come to wear fewer and fewer clothes

Sit by the pool, getting a tan and a doze

School lets out with kids’ joyous throes

The sun sits so high, once it’s arose

And the time has come, for outdoor shows



Autumn comes next; though we all call it Fall

That time of year when things slow to a crawl

Women begin wearing their scarves or a shawl

Stormy times appear with quite a squall

Men hit the links to chase a golf ball

And the time’s arrived to watch football



Winter completes the circle, as the air turns cold

And the world becomes another year old

Snowy vistas that are so lovely to behold

Blizzards also, Winter uncontrolled

We just have to hang on; until paroled

As once again, ’round the circle, we’re rolled





Written: 11/05/15


So, I skipped a day yesterday, sorry! Been in a lot of weird pains lately…hasn’t stopped my writing, though. The pain demands that I write now! It’s become an indispensable coping technique, along with the coloring books, yoga, T’ai Chi, and meditation that I learned in the Orient back in the day. Hope you’re all enjoying the reading as much as I enjoy writing!

“I’m Still Alive!”

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So, I’m going through life at the ‘speed of hell’! meaning eternity! I’m always around an 8+ on the pain scale roller-coaster now. Ever since the trigeminal neuralgia started to act up, I haven’t been down to a 7 in a month or two! So, I’m going out on my limb, and bringing up the subject of medical marijuana! Near and dear to my heart, and a literal “boon” for chronic pain survivors and those who have autoimmune diseases. I have a friend on Facebook who runs a group called “cbd hempsavedme”, and she’s selling the totally legal CBD products that are available in all 50 states, that’s because they are from the non-psychoactive properties in the hemp plant. Higher CBD strains counteract the low THC content strains to cure many things without the “high” or “buzz” that only comes from the THC!

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Truth! Mary-jane has been very helpful in keeping my pains reined in and helping out with the PTSD.

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This chart shows the benefits of the separate components of the hemp plant. You’ll notice that the second downwards list of the benefits of the CBD, in allllll those blue dots! That’s why I’m so outspoken for the legalization of marijuana for medical necessity if for nothing else!

FREE MARIJUANA FROM THE PRISON OF IGNORANCE!

That’s been my new motto, and if I had the cash, I’d make buttons with that saying!

Also I have to say that I have been in such a state lately! State of pain that’s kept me half-blind in the right eye, from the trigeminal neuralgia pain making it squint continuously, and the lower back combined with that and the permanent cramp in the left trapezius muscle, and the list goes on and on. It changes slightly from one day to the next whichever pain is gonna crop up and say, “Hi!” It’s all just a great big guessing game. I have skipped today’s poem, and I have it scheduled for tomorrow, but there’s now a five day difference between the Facebook group, and here. I had to spend half of the day today in repose from all the all-over pain! So, in closing, I leave a few pics to think about what the legalization of marijuana would be as a great benefit to us who suffer from the prison of pain!

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These are pre-made cone papers already rolled and stuck! You grind your bud fine, and fill the cone with a small funnel, like the one I commandeered from our kitchen. It fits in the end of the paper, which has a rolled cardboard tube that keeps the stash from leaking out. Then, it smokes almost like a cigar, in that the ash sticks together well, and you grind fine enough to pack even enough, then it doesn’t run down the sides, which is where you waste good weed! So, I have been “rolling-challenged” all my life, and now, these are what the dispensary uses for its prerolls! Easy to use. I can now smoke more comfortably outside! It’s hard to carry the bong/pipe, whatever outside, so this goes in the corner of the mouth, and it burns smooth and clean down to the end of the cardboard tube and there’s no roach leftover! I used to save my roaches, (from using a rolling machine), and tear them up for a powerful bowlful of concentrated THC! So, here’s a few pics of the benefits of marijuana and the hemp plant itself.

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Look how much CBD covers!

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If the ability to use hemp as a longer-lasting replacement for concrete. Hemp plastic for the solar windows! Mold and mildew resistant! Why are we not utilizing this? Politicians and the hands in the pockets of lobbyists and shit….don’t get me started! So, I’m closing now before I say something true that people don’t want to EVER hear! Peace-out ✌ 💝

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“A miracle ‘superfood’ capable of preventing and reversing a host of chronic illnesses.” I don’t know about a “host”, because I think that the definition of a “host” is like twenty thousand! I gotta Google that! But the last picture shows the truth! Mary-jane is a great medicine, not a drug!

“Sonorous” a poem

“Sonorous”




Reverberating

Rolling thunder sounds

Brilliant echoing

Sound that drowns


Screams of, “Pain!”

Ills; profound

Refuse to deign

Standing ground


The fundamental issue

Of chronic disease

Pains to the sinew

Pills to ease


Sullen and dark

Close to madness

Bare and stark

The souls sadness


I must take the chance

And strike the first spark

Staying strong in stance

Will make my mark


Once it was dependable

Always put me to sleep

My life was once credible

Easy to upkeep


Deep sounds that I cannot fathom

Bringing nightmares so horrid

These sounds have become my anthem

My life’s become so morbid


These monstrous sounds

Grueling and ponderous

Upon my brain; it pounds

Playing songs, so sonorous




Written: 11/03/15-11/30/15


Okay, Rick, why two written by dates? Trivial answer…as I watched the posting date arrive for the Facebook group, which I said before, is on a three-day difference betwixt the two. But, as for the two dates, I had written the poem originally ending the fifth verse at the last verse here, on ‘sonorous’, but the third to, and second to last verses were added the day I posted it. So I like to add things about when I had originally wrote something like this, and made a change, (major), or just added a verse or two, like here. It is sometimes indicative of changing feelings between my poems also. Thus, I like to make a habit of keeping track of the #’s like this:  I would write four lines in the upper right corner, and each said, Written:, P4E:(my Facebook group), WP:(for here), and Book:, now Book2:, and each had a check-off line for the date finished/posted/booked. Hope you all are enjoying the reading. I’m not seeing as many likes as before, did I say something off-key? I hope not…I have my views, but I keep them segregated from any of my pages that are strictly pain related, or no entry. That’s why I hope a lot of you have gone to my Facebook group and seen mine and Tessa from here. She started with a few haiku, and has since blossomed into a good writer! I’m happy as hell to have helped at least one person realize how peaceful and relaxing it can be sometimes to just get shit off of your chest!! And then…..you’re calmer, practice tidal breathing. If no one has heard of the art of tidal breathing, I know it.